Allotment Gardening Advice Help Chat
Chatting => Chatting on the Plot => Topic started by: New shoot on December 22, 2018, 12:30
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T'was deep midwinter on the allotment forum, but while all the members were rushing around with their Christmas preparations, something was stirring ....
A strange greenish glow appeared in the distance. It waxed and waned, but then spread slowly. 'Oh no' whispered New shoot 'it's a.....'
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magnetic storm, my mobile won't work and...
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… actually, do I really care? I'd rather watch the Aurora Borealis because I don't get charged for it unless I ...
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mistakenly leave it switched on in my pocket.
The green glow spread even further, and in the centre could be seen...….
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a giant slug, who just learned that his nemesis has been banned ....
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from eating his favourite....
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food of huge juicy slugs.
"At last" thought he.... or rather, he/she, as slugs are neither and both of course ….. " All I need now is a lovely damp spot to set up home"
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Harry the hedgehog opened one eye and saw his breakfast, lunch and dinner marching towards his comfy kipping spot...
'Aaaaaaaaaaah' he mumbled, then...
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picked with little appetite at his bowl of vegan soy based slugs, which was all he was allowed under his ASBO. 'What I need is a fairy godmother' he sighed ...
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And as if like magic she appeared with Fairy Plotfather in tow. After reviewing the situation they both said in unison.....
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You know what, we are going to have to stop drinking the beer in those slug traps because …….
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'We're sure we just saw a singing parsnip'.
'Don't be daft' muttered Harry. 'No such thing', but as he said this a door creaked open and ...
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...there was an entire choir of singing parsnips, accompanied on the piano by Charlie Bears Parsley.
Harry couldn't quite make out the tune, but it sounded very much like...
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Parsnip wine tastes fine and beats beer all the time, so move it, dig it ……. Mrs Bouquet