[plum crumble]

 

[Paul Plots]

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Australian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Aussies, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet and, shortly after, a story was published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Australians".

One week later, the Council in Essex , reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in Colchester, Jack Lucknow, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely b* all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

Just makes you b***** proud to be British, doesn't it?

[Ma and Pa Snip]

I met an elderly chap at the cashpoint yesterday, he was obviously having trouble getting cash out of  the machine and asked me to check his balance for him.



So I got him to put one finger on his nose and stand on one leg................ he had no balance.

[hillfooter]

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

______________________________________________________________________

and what about all the 36673 who say

"I'm sooooo sorry to hear about the sad loss of your lovely light bulb but you gave it a good life away from that nasty battery unit .  
Sending hugs and kisses from me too."

 
HF

[mumofstig]

Love the irony HF    (but not the ironing )

[Ma and Pa Snip]

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

______________________________________________________________________

and what about all the 36673 who say

"I'm sooooo sorry to hear about the sad loss of your lovely light bulb but you gave it a good life away from that nasty battery unit .  
Sending hugs and kisses from me too."

 
HF

And those who say it expired too early in life and wasn't fit for purpose.
  Look on the bright side, new one will cost less to run, allegedly.   

[GTFC197]

A blonde gets a job as a teacher in the local primary school, while on playground duty she notices a young boy stood all alone, while the other kids were running around having fun.

"You ok?", she asked,

"Yes", he replied,

"You can go and play around with the other kids you know", said the blonde,

"It's better if I stay here", replied the boy,

"Why?", asked the blonde,

The boy replied,

"Cos I'm the b****y goalkeeper".

[GTFC197]

What's the difference between Iron Man & Iron Woman???






Iron Man is a super hero,








Iron woman, is a simple instruction.

[GTFC197]

I was in the pub with the wife last night and I said,


"I love you",

she said,

"Is that you or the beer talking?",

I said,

"It's me,     






talking to the beer"

[Ma and Pa Snip]

A new Middle East crisis developed today as Dubai television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.

A spokesperson for the channel said
" A claim has been made that the people in Dubai would not understand the humour,
but we know for a fact that the people in




Abu Dhabi dooooo"

[JayG]

All modern medical treatments had failed my poor grandpa so we tried rubbing goose-fat into his back.

He went downhill rapidly after that.


(Slightly adapted from a gag on "Mock the Week")

[hillfooter]

And those who say it expired too early in life and wasn't fit for purpose.
  Look on the bright side, new one will cost less to run, allegedly.   
[/quote]

don't you mean look on the dim side
HF

[Ma and Pa Snip]

Have you seen the prices of pet spiders in the stores !!!!


I told my grandaughter we'd look for one on the web

[pigeonpie]

Oh Ma and Pa, I had come on here especially to post that joke having just read it elsewhere!

Instead, how about...

The worst pub I've ever been to was called The Fiddle.  It really was a vile inn.

[Ma and Pa Snip]

Oh Ma and Pa, I had come on here especially to post that joke having just read it elsewhere!

Instead, how about...

The worst pub I've ever been to was called The Fiddle.  It really was a vile inn.