[John]

OK - How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?


None - it's a hardware problem 

[mumofstig]

but that's true as well

[aelf]

how many council staff to change a lightbulb?

no one is really sure - it goes something like this...

19 to ingore it, it's someone elses job
2 to report it as a health and safety issue
1 to fill in the health and safety report
2 to be on sick leave and unable to process the paperwork
3 to take part in the paper trail
1 to fill in the requisition form
2 to authorise it
3 more to take part in the paper trail
1 to recieve the requisition form and delegate the job
1 to be on sick leave and not available to do the job
3 more to take part in the paper trail
1 to complete the new requisition form
2 to authorise it
1 to recieve the requisition form and delegate the job
1 to be ready to do the job but not trained to use a ladder safely...


Aaaarghhhhh!!!

[DD.]

Q: How many forum users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eleven. One to post 'How to change a lightbulb'. One to ask to be sent pics on how to do it. Eight more to say "ME TOO!", and another to post a message asking for the intructions on how to view a lightbulb.

That's too true 

I thought it more wnet on the line of, (and play spot yourself & others here, folks):

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

[mumofstig]

You missed the member trying to advertise his own lighting business...I think, or has that already been deleted by a mod? 

[TheEnglishman]

but that's true as well

No it isn't - It's a firmware issue.   You need to upgrade to version 3.6544.2577.1a

  



Anyroads - something more topical...

A little old lady goes into the butcher shop and says, "I don't know what to serve my family for dinner."
The butcher says, "How about some cow's tongue?"
She says, "Are you insinuating that I'd eat something that's been in a cow's mouth?"
The butcher says, "Well I saw you in the grocery store this morning buying eggs..."


And DD - you've been a moderator way too long 

[aelf]

That's brill DD. Which one are you? 

[hamstergbert]

How many Microshaft developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None - they just declare that darkness is the new industry standard.

How many iPhone users does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they just sit in the dark for ever, searching screen after screen for a iBulbChange app....

How many mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
Oh, you go off with all your fancy friends.  Don't worry about me.  I'll be all right.  Here on my own.  In the dark....

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A fish.

[aelf]

How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- None. The seeds of revolution and change are within the lightbulb itself.

[JayG]

   DD !!

(You forgot the poster who doesn't believe we should be using light bulbs at all and offers detailed instructions on how to grow your own carbon-neutral candles!) 

[DD.]

That's brill DD. Which one are you? 

Having done an electical apprenticeship at Thorn Lighting, it has to be:

"2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp""

'cos it's true.

[hamstergbert]

I bet you even know the difference betwen a fuse and a fuze!

[Paul Plots]

That's brill DD. Which one are you? 

Having done an electical apprenticeship at Thorn Lighting, it has to be:

"2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp""

'cos it's true.

"Lamp" it is.... confuses little-uns in their science tests though  :blink:

[DD.]

"Bulb" is just the glass bit, or "envelope".

[GTFC197]

Paddy walked into a barn and caught Shamus doing a sexy dance in front of a large piece of farm machinery.

"Shamus", shouted Paddy,

"what on earth areyou doing?",

"Oh it's ok", replied Shamus,

"me and the missus are having a few marital problems, and the marriage guidance councellor said that if I wanted to turn my wife on, I should do a sexy dance to a tractor"