[plot6b]

how does he smell?

Awful

do you reckon we should be on the stage? the next one out of town

I say my wife's going to Jamacia?

[davethespread]

for the rastafarian old holburn

[DavidT]

how does he smell?

Awful

do you reckon we should be on the stage? the next one out of town

I say my wife's going to Jamacia?

Shouldn`t that be. " My wife`s going to the Caribbean". Answer " Jamaica "? Response "No she wanted to go "?

[davethespread]

whatever the case i would'nt go on the cruise ships,they seem to be rife with the two bob bits at the moment

[plot6b]

for the rastafarian old holburn

Very funny  
Did you hear about the Two seater plane thet crashed into a Cemetery?
So far they have recovered 45 bodies.

[plot6b]

how does he smell?

Awful

do you reckon we should be on the stage? the next one out of town

I say my wife's going to Jamacia?

Shouldn`t that be. " My wife`s going to the Caribbean". Answer " Jamaica "? Response "No she wanted to go "?

Your right DavidT I mucked that one up

[davethespread]

today,my large wild cat was feeling insecure about his spots.he claimed that they made him self-conscious amongst his lion and tiger friends.
i told him his differences were what made him beautiful and that he had reason to be proud of his appearance.

                                       assured is my leopard

                                      (happy psalm pun-day)

[Loubs]

Did you hear on the news about the lorry-load of tortoises crashing into the van-load of terrapins? It was a turtle disaster.

[DavidT]

There was a crash on the M4 today between a lorry load of sugar and a lorry load of strawberries. What a jam it caused.

[Paul Plots]

Paddy and Mick are walking down a street in London .....
Paddy happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.

The sign said 'Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50 per pair.'

Paddy says to his pal, 'Mick, look! We could buy a whole lot of dose, and when we get back to Ireland , we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking cause if they hear your accent, they might not be nice to us. I'll speak in my best English accent. '

'Roight y'are, Paddy, I'll keep me mouth shut, so I will,' says Mick.

They go in and Paddy says, 'I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each. I'll back up my truck and...'

The owner of the shop interrupts, 'You're from Ireland , aren't you?'

'Well ..... yes,' says a surprised Paddy. 'How der hell d'y'know dat?

The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners'

[Ice]

Will you tell Learner, or should I?

[Aunt Sally]

I will 

Ice is Irish and she probably didn't find that funny.  In fact she's on to her solicitor right now 

[Ice]

No, silly, the jokes already been posted.   I've enough problems with suing myself for the Irish joke I posted.

[Aunt Sally]

D'oh 

[hamstergbert]

Mrs Hamstergbert reckoned that I paid no attention to her, didn't bother finding out what she liked or disliked, the usual girly touchy-feely nonsense stuff like that.
Of course I denied it (well, you have to, dontcha) and challenged her to give me even one example of me not knowing something that is important to her.
She thought for a minute then said, "OK, if you know me - really know me - what is my favourite flower?"
"Easy peasy" I replied, quick as a moderately quick flash.  "Homepride, isn't it!"
Got an impressive right hook on her for a slim woman.