There's an old scrap merchant who's wife was long gone from this world and he lived alone with his beloved dog. Despite his having made a lot of money before he retired, they lived simply and frugally. The only one he lavished any money on was his dog, buying him a steak on Saturday nights. Sadly the dog passed away.
Well the old chap walks down to the Catholic church and goes inside where he finds the priest. “Father,” he says, near in tears, “My dog has passed away. Would you conduct a burial service for him?”
The priest, a stickler for the rules, replied, “No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. It's against the rules. But there is a new Methodist church down the road. Maybe they will do something for the animal”.
The old man thought for a moment and then answered, “OK, Father, I understand. Do you think the Methodists will be able to accept £100,000 for the burial service? Lord knows, I've nothing else to spend my money on.”
The priest nearly fell over and then he exclaimed, “Sweet Jesus! Why didn't you tell me the dog was a Catholic straight off?”