[joyfull]

sounds like my idea of a perfect gym 

[Tenhens]

Excellent!!    Raised a chuckle!!

[Chrysalis]

From Rhod Gilbert:

I had an appointment with Gambler's Anonymous, but I wasn't going to go.  I changed my mind when it was at 25 to 1.

[Tenhens]

Watched Stuart Francis last night , brilliant one liner gags. Problem is , trying to remember them!!

[rogerbodger]

Watched Stuart Francis last night , brilliant one liner gags. Problem is , trying to remember them!!

I used to be a mime…. but now I can talk about it…

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; it was riveting.

When I was a child my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks.

My wife and I decided we don’t want children; if someone wants them, we’ll drop them off tomorrow.

My father was a man of few words and I remember him saying to me, “Son…

I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it.

I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

There's a fine line between hyphenated words…

[devonbarmygardener]

Watched Stuart Francis last night , brilliant one liner gags. Problem is , trying to remember them!!

I don't like him much - the one-liners do my nut

[Snoop]

Watched Stuart Francis last night , brilliant one liner gags. Problem is , trying to remember them!!

I don't like him much - the one-liners do my nut

I didn't see him - obviously - but I have to say the quoted one-liners didn't do much for me either.

Maybe it's the way he tells them...

[brokenglass]

He is brilliant!     

[rogerbodger]

Me and my mates were busy robbing this CD store when the cops turned up.

Dave grabbed all the pop CDs and ran off.
Steve grabbed the rock CDs and also ran off.
Dan grabbed the Jazz and followed suit.
I was forced to take the rap.

[Comfr3y]

if i was smart enough id think of a way to put house and garage music in

[cadalot]

if i was smart enough id think of a way to put house and garage music in

Think of 2 more names 

[Comfr3y]

ok ill work on that......

[rogerbodger]

A mate of mine had severe back problems and went in for that new operation last month where they inject mercury into the base of the spine which was pretty painful. He says it seems to be helping but the only drawback so far is that he is 5ft 2" on a cold day and 6ft 7" on a hot day.

[Snoop]

A mate of mine had severe back problems and went in for that new operation last month where they inject mercury into the base of the spine which was pretty painful. He says it seems to be helping but the only drawback so far is that he is 5ft 2" on a cold day and 6ft 7" on a hot day.

 

[rogerbodger]

I can hear music coming out of my printer............I think the paper’s jammin’ again