[Growster...]

We used to dream of having a gas powered telly.....

Aye lad, so did we. Ours was a smelly old thing powered by used chip fat from't chippy up t'road

Luxury!

We didn't 'ave no roads 'ere...

[New shoot]

Luxury!

We didn't 'ave no roads 'ere...

Pah - you think you were poor.  My dad was seen kicking a can down the street.  When someone asked what he was doing, he said 'moving house!'

[JayG]

Pah - you think you were poor.  My dad was seen kicking a can down the street.  When someone asked what he was doing, he said 'moving house!'

So, your house was actually made from real metal?     

Our 'house' was made from recycled toilet paper (and I'm not talking Waitrose quality here!  )

[Snoop]

Pah - you think you were poor.  My dad was seen kicking a can down the street.  When someone asked what he was doing, he said 'moving house!'

So, your house was actually made from real metal?     

Our 'house' was made from recycled toilet paper (and I'm not talking Waitrose quality here!  )

Recycled toilet paper? How long ago was that? The mind boggles (pun intended). 

[dugless]

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

   A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 

[Raven81]

I apologise in advance for this one:

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror...........

.....

......

Halloumi!

[Yorkie]

 

[rogerbodger]

When I got home last night I couldn't find a mug for my cuppa, then I couldn't find a teaspoon, then I couldn't find the tea. "What's happened in the kitchen?" I asked my wife. "There's been a cabinet reshuffle" came back the reply.

[rogerbodger]

Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub watching the Tour de France on TV.

Seamus shook his head and asked, "Whoi t'e heck do they do that?"
"Do what?" asked Mick.

"Go on them boikes for moiles and moiles, up and down t'e hills, round t'e bends. Day after day, week after week. No matter if it's oicy, rainin, snowin, hailin... why would they torture themselves like that?"

"Tis all for the prestige and the money," replied Mick. "You know the winner gets about a half a million Euros?

"Yeah, I understand that," said Seamus, "but why do all the others do it?"

[chrisnchris]

A roofer (he may or may not be of Irish descent) walks onto a building site and asks the foreman for work.

"Sure", says the foreman, those roofs need battening out before tiling....can you do that?

"Sure", says the roofer.

About an hour later the foreman sees the roofer nailing the battens to the roof,
that's fine but he's throwing every other nail away.

"OY" shouts the foreman, "what the hell are you doing throwing those nails away?"

"Well" says Patrick "the ones I'm throwing away have got the head on the wrong end"

"Don't be so %£*&&^ stupid" says the foreman






"They're for the other side of the house"   

[Snoop]

 

[dugless]

    Husband takes the wife to a disco.

>                      There's a guy on the dance floor living it up
big time ,

>                      break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the
works.

>                      The wife turns to her husband and says: "See
that guy?

>                      25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him
down."

>                      Husband says: "Looks like he's still
celebrating!

[chrisnchris]

Genuine LOL..........thanks dugless 

[rosiecider]

What do you call a mushroom who buys you drinks all night  .........  a fungi to be with   

[chrisnchris]

A man took his Rotweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?"


"Well," said the vet "let's have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes.

"Well," says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down."

"Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man.

"No, because he's heavy," says the vet.