[Snoop]

I've had to stop eating alphabet soup - my Doctor says I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome

Brilliant.

[davethespread]

i bought some aftershave with a credit card the other week,since then there has been loads of dodgy transactions,
it appears my card has been cologned 

[Plot 6B]

i bought some aftershave with a credit card the other week,since then there has been loads of dodgy transactions,
it appears my card has been cologned 

Dave, they get worse.............Groan.
Welcome back mate!

[davethespread]

cheers nigel old boy how you been

[dugless]

I am surprised how easy it is to forget people that  are prominent then disappear. looking back there are quite a lot of them, in fact I was one that did just that for a time.

[davethespread]

A carrier is someone who doesn't show symptoms of a disease but can pass it on to people they come into contact with.
for example David Cameron is a carrier of tourettes

[Chrysalis]

Norty!!

[John]

A carrier is someone who doesn't show symptoms of a disease but can pass it on to people they come into contact with.
for example David Cameron is a carrier of tourettes

In view of tomorrow's elections I think I should point out that the official policy of this site is that all the party leaders are equally lame

[dugless]

A carrier is someone who doesn't show symptoms of a disease but can pass it on to people they come into contact with.
for example David Cameron is a carrier of tourettes

In view of tomorrow's elections I think I should point out that the official policy of this site is that all the party leaders are equally lame

I agree 

[Goosegirl]

I've had to stop eating alphabet soup - my Doctor says I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome

Brilliant.

[Growster...]

Little Johnny's teacher asked all the children to bring something in a brown paper bag the next day, and she would guess what it was. Lots of children brought cakes, and fruit etc.

Johnny arrived with a bag, which appeared to be leaking a little, so the teacher touched the drips with her finger and tasted them several times.

'Is it a lemon Johnny?', she said.

'No Miss'.

'Is it something from your garden then?'

'No Miss'.

'Well, I give up, what is it then Johnny?'

'It's a little puppy Miss!'

[yorky]

**Sky Breaking news**

An Irish man who took Ryanair to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.

[theothermarg]

 
marg

[yorky]

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true.The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.'

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?





Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.

[davethespread]

did you know that the female praying mantis devours the male within minutes of mating.

whereas human females prefer to stretch it over a life time