[Growster...]

CROW KILLS

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu.
 
The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."
 
Amazing!
 
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?  No need to thank me!

Brilliant, Trills! Can I use it elsewhere please?

[Growster...]

Just to show that not all utterly inept drivers are female ( ) or drive cars.........

LINK

(Right from the start look at the scooter near the top middle of screen that starts by running into oncoming (slow) traffic - stick with it because it just gets better!)

Ooooooh, just fabulous, Jay!

Tea-sur-keyboard in exceptional quantities, and you're right, just stick with it to the end...!

...still laughing uncontrollably...

Ha ha ha ha.....

[rogerbodger]

A Toyota, racecar and Civic turn up at a velodrome. A cyclist says "This is for bikes, you're thinking of a palindrome."

[Springlands]

A Toyota, racecar and Civic turn up at a velodrome. A cyclist says "This is for bikes, you're thinking of a palindrome."

 

[Trillium]

Brilliant, Trills! Can I use it elsewhere please?

I don't know where it originated so it's safe to say yes, you can use it.

[snowdrops]

Just to show that not all utterly inept drivers are female ( ) or drive cars.........

LINK

(Right from the start look at the scooter near the top middle of screen that starts by running into oncoming (slow) traffic - stick with it because it just gets better!)

Thank you that really made me laugh,do you think he gave up after that

[JayG]

Thank you that really made me laugh,do you think he gave up after that

That probably depends on whether he has been released yet from hospital/prison/secure mental health unit! 

[snowdrops]

Or he sobered up/had less rice wine with dinner

[superpete]

This is an old one - might have seen it before...

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the highway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped to 80mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... then the reality of the situation hit him. "what the hell am I doing?" he thought, and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his licence without a word and examined it and the car. "Its been a long day, this is the end of my shift and its friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving I haven't heard before, you can go" The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back." "Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

[arugula]

 

[Fairy Plotmother]

 

[joyfull]

 

[Tenhens]

Still makes me chuckle.

Completely unrelated but made I laff  Vanessa Feltz on Strictly ITT Monday night (6.30) Wardrobe failure and throwing dummy out of pram.

[rogerbodger]

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, an American, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, and a Swiss man walk into a pub.

The landlord says, "I can't let you in without a Thai."

[Growster...]

Fabulous, Roger!

Ha ha ha!