The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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Welsh Merf

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4050 on: April 04, 2021, 17:45 »
For the monitors, this may be classed as borderline:

Many years ago, I went on a blind date, and met this lovely woman at a restaurant.

She said, "I've only slept with three men before I met you."

Good God, I thought! I'm only twenty minutes late!
I may be Welsh, but I love ewe anyway!

See my diary pages here

and add a comment here

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New shoot

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4051 on: April 04, 2021, 21:01 »
For the monitors, this may be classed as borderline:

Maybe, but it made me laugh anyway  :lol:

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Aunt Sally

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4052 on: April 04, 2021, 21:41 »
We don’t have any monitors so that’s okay  ::)

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Growster...

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4053 on: April 05, 2021, 06:48 »
Why did the Queensland kangaroo stop when he got just over the NSW border?
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...because he was out of bounds...

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Welsh Merf

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4054 on: April 05, 2021, 19:11 »
Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, "Have you driven one of these before?"

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Plot 1 Problems

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4055 on: April 05, 2021, 19:33 »
Chris Packham, expert on wasps and the noises that they make, ventured into a record shop.
He spotted a vinyl copy of "Sounds of Wasps" and asked the gentleman behind the counter if he could listen to a little of it.
After a couple of minutes he says "I'm Chris Packham, expert on wasps and the noises that they make and I don't recognise a single sound on this record."
They listen to a few minutes more and he says "I'm Chris Packham, expert on wasps and the noises that they make and I still don't recognise a single sound on this record."
After a few mintues more, clearly agitated now he says "I'm Chris Packham, expert on wasps and the noises that they make and for reasons I don't comprehend I don't recognise a single sound on this record what so ever!"

The chap behind the counter stops the record and inspects it closely. "Oh" he says, "Looks like I was playing the Bee-side."

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Kleftiwallah

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4056 on: April 11, 2021, 13:40 »
The big hairy tattood trucker goes into the truck stop for his lunch and orders the soup of the day.  The waitress returns with his order and he can't help noticing she has her thumb in the soup.  "You've got your thumb in my soup" says the trucker.  "Oh, replies the waitress, I have an arthritic joint in my thumb and the doctor told me to keep it warm". 

"I'll tell you where you can stick your thumb to keep it warm" replied the trucker. 
"Oh I do" replied the waitress, "when I'm not serving soup"!

Giggles all round.   Cheers,  Tony.
I may be growing OLD, but I refuse to grow UP !

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mrs bouquet

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4057 on: April 11, 2021, 15:05 »
Oh dear oh dear  :lol:  Mrs B
Birds in cages do not sing  -  They are crying.

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DanielCoffey

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4058 on: April 14, 2021, 11:45 »
I asked my Grandpa... "After 65 years of marriage you still call Grandma Darling, Beautiful and Honey. What is the secret?"

He said... "I forgot her name five years ago and I am too scared to ask her!"

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John

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4059 on: April 15, 2021, 10:21 »
Some bad news..

The new French vaccine made from a distillation of minced snails, frog's legs and garlic is not effective against COVID-19 trials have shown

Some good news...

It works a treat against vampires  :D

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Goosegirl

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4060 on: April 19, 2021, 09:20 »
Fangs for that John!  :lol:
I work very hard so don't expect me to think as well.

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mumofstig

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4061 on: April 20, 2021, 18:14 »
Monty bought a new record for his collection, 'the sounds Wasps make'.
What a disappointment when he played it, the sounds were all wrong. Nothing like Wasps.
Then he realised that he was playing the 'Bee' side.

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Plot 1 Problems

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4062 on: April 21, 2021, 00:20 »
Monty bought a new record for his collection, 'the sounds Wasps make'.
What a disappointment when he played it, the sounds were all wrong. Nothing like Wasps.
Then he realised that he was playing the 'Bee' side.

*cough* I refer you to the joke I posted on the 5th April ;)

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Plot 1 Problems

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Lardman

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4064 on: April 23, 2021, 08:29 »
PMSL : That's the first time I've seen that, so true.




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