[aelf]

went to the circus last night and saw some tightrope walkers.





funny flavour for crisps

 :blink:

[JayG]

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

* * *

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

* * *

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal operation?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

[Paul Plots]

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

* * *

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

* * *

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal operation?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

Very clever   

[GTFC197]

My very inconsiderate neighbour was banging on my front door at 2.30 this morning,

Yes, 2.30 this morning, I couldn't believe it.

Lucky for him I was still up playing my new drum kit. 

[Glosterboy]

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular
phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker
function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the leather shop now and found this beautiful
leather coat. It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new
models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking
to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the
market.  They're asking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of
$900,000. they'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra
eighty thousand if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you
so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at
him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

[Johnnywesto]

After years of research, scientists have finally discovered what it is that makes women happy.













Nothing.

[mumofstig]

I dunno about that...........divorce can make women happy 

[hamstergbert]

Another set of scientists have discovered a food that completely eliminates sensuality in women.
It's technical name is 'wedding cake'....



I'll get me (morning) coat.....

[mumofstig]

Another set of scientists have discovered a food that completely eliminates sensuality in women.
It's technical name is 'wedding cake'....

The clinical term is 'christening cake', and it has to be taken with lack of sleep to be fully effective.

A high dose of 'uncaring husband' was also found to eliminate sensuality completely

[Paul Plots]

Lunch time?

[elibump]

 

[DD.]

It's ironic that I can't seem to find anywhere to insure my pet Meerkat.

[Yorkie]

 

[JayG]

A catapult was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of maths disruption.

* * *

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. It sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

[Jamie Butterworth]

The wife kept saying that for her birthday she wanted something, anything for the bath, so I got her a bottle of ciff limescale remover