The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

  • 4196 Replies
  • 854893 Views
*

Tenhens

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: North Derbyshire
  • 1259
  • freedom lodge for tenhens ex battery 1 year on
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2685 on: June 30, 2014, 15:17 »
That is awful!!   Funny! but awful!
we also rescue rabbits and guinea pigs, grow own veg

*

rogerbodger

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Bedfordshire
  • 611
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2686 on: June 30, 2014, 19:46 »
On a similar theme ....


Q) How do farmers make crop circles?




A) They use a protractor

*

rogerbodger

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Bedfordshire
  • 611
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2687 on: July 02, 2014, 04:28 »
Paddy pops into the newsagents.
He says, "Excuse me," to the lady, "but how much is it to advertise something for sale in your window?"
"It's 20 pence per inch." she answers.
"Forget it," he says, "I've got a 40 foot ladder for sale."

*

cadalot

  • Guest
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2688 on: July 02, 2014, 11:51 »
Doctor told me I was overweight and needed to exercise, my reply was 

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, only eats fish, only drinks water and is fat.
A rabbit only eats vegetables, runs and hops all day long and only lives 5 years.
A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing energetic, yet lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise I don’t think so.

*

chrisnchris

  • Experienced Member
  • ***
  • Location: Fleet Hants
  • 343
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2689 on: July 04, 2014, 14:37 »
Just to resurrect the football theme.....


To regain confidence in the England Squad, Roy Hodgson has arranged a friendly against Iceland.

Should they win, he will be arranging further friendlies in the future,






against Asda,Morrisons and Sainsbury's.

*

yorky

  • Joint Winner - Tallest Sunflower 2012
  • Experienced Member
  • ***
  • Location: Garforth, Leeds
  • 347
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2690 on: July 07, 2014, 20:51 »
THE GREEN THING - VERY TRUE!!!
Checking out at Tesco, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologised and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The assistant responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day. Back then, we returned milk bottles, soft drink bottles and beer bottles to the shop. The shop sent them back to the plant to be washed, sterilised and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs because we didn't have a lift or escalator in every shop and office building. We walked to the grocers and didn't climb into a 200-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 2000 watts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back then. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV or radio in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief not a screen the size of Yorkshire . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the post, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

When we were thirsty we drank from a tap instead of drinking from a plastic bottle of water shipped from the other side of the world. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor when the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mums into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical socket in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest fish and chip shop.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then.
« Last Edit: July 07, 2014, 20:56 by yorky »
Sets a low standard and fails to achieve it.

*

devonbarmygardener

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Plymouth, Devon
  • 13455
  • I live, therefore I garden!
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2691 on: July 07, 2014, 22:18 »
That is very very true :)

*

azubah

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: midlands..near Birmingham
  • 2092
    • www.Godsaves.co.uk
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2692 on: July 10, 2014, 08:22 »
Very true. We did not have central heating, fridge, car, phone, recorder of any type, camera, I could go on and on, I usually do! But life was full and we survived.

*

dugless

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: derby
  • 2377
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2693 on: July 10, 2014, 17:15 »
Yes because we were not molly coddled had to stand on your own two feet work things out and were grateful for any gifts
Time is more precious than Gold
Spend it Wisely

*

cadalot

  • Guest
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2694 on: July 10, 2014, 18:37 »
I think I'm experiencing Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen  Xe1a1wHxTyo

*

yorky

  • Joint Winner - Tallest Sunflower 2012
  • Experienced Member
  • ***
  • Location: Garforth, Leeds
  • 347
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2695 on: July 10, 2014, 21:40 »
There was no electricity when I was a lad. We had to watch television in the dark.

*

Yorkie

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: North Yorkshire
  • 26373
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2696 on: July 10, 2014, 21:45 »
Very good - had to think for a second or two about that one  :lol:
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days all attack me at once...

*

azubah

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: midlands..near Birmingham
  • 2092
    • www.Godsaves.co.uk
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2697 on: July 11, 2014, 07:33 »
When we had a power cut and I needed to use the electric oven my DH said "never mind, use the microwave instead".

*

cadalot

  • Guest
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2698 on: July 11, 2014, 08:14 »
We used to dream of having a gas powered telly.....

*

MalcW

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Exmouth, Devon
  • 642
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #2699 on: July 11, 2014, 09:39 »
We used to dream of having a gas powered telly.....

Aye lad, so did we. Ours was a smelly old thing powered by used chip fat from't chippy up t'road



xx
give us our daily bread

Started by rowlandwells on Chatting on the Plot

18 Replies
1825 Views
Last post March 13, 2022, 09:54
by lettice
xx
laugh or cry .... you decide.

Started by Lardman on Chatting on the Plot

45 Replies
8632 Views
Last post January 16, 2019, 13:26
by Goosegirl
xx
Deliveries? You're having a laugh!

Started by Goosegirl on Chatting on the Plot

11 Replies
4113 Views
Last post December 31, 2017, 19:23
by Christine
xx
A funny mis-read.

Started by Goosegirl on Chatting on the Plot

1 Replies
328 Views
Last post November 03, 2023, 17:44
by wighty
 

Page created in 0.14 seconds with 51 queries.

Powered by SMFPacks Social Login Mod
Powered by SMFPacks SEO Pro Mod |