[dugless]

"And the pig got up and slowly walked away..."

It's a drinking song written in 1933 by Benjamin Hapgood Burt
Sung famously by Frank Crumit : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPPjYTlGaEo

Spot on 

[wighty]

It just says 'traditional' in the book I was reading at the time.  But thankyou Hamster and Dugless.

[hunros40]

Forget Newton and Galileo.
Here are the real laws of nature:
1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
 
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5.Supermarket Law- As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
 
7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

[aelf]

Brilliant hunros40  If I may, there is more to add to rule 5:

5.Supermarket Law- As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

5a. The law of supermarket amnesia. If you write a shopping list for the supermarket, you are guaranteed to leave it at home on the table and not realise until you are nearly there. Never mind, because you then repeat the list to yourself in your head as you approach the supermarket doors but, as soon as you enter, your mind goes completely blank. You then fill your shopping trolley with a host of random items that you don't really need and, after obeying rule 5 and paying a ridiculous amount for 6 bags of shopping, you go home, review the list that was left on the table and realise that you haven't actually bought any of it. You then take a trip to the corner shop for an expensive loaf of plastic bread and some milk.
 

[mumofstig]

That would be funny - if it wasn't true 

[dugless]

Rule 2a if there is a hole nearby it will go in it.

[JayG]

Nice one Hunros - if I may add 6(a):

At any unfamiliar multi-exit roundabout, no matter how carefully you choose your lane, by the time you get to your exit you will always be in the wrong lane and will then need to cover your ears and close your eyes as you reach nervously for the indicator switch (metaphorically speaking, of course!) 

[Elaine G]

Ha! Ha! However if you are my colleague, however carefully you read the signs, when you enter the roundabout you will still have no clue where the exit is!
I discovered this when following him one day - suddenly he was behind me!! (It's a side effect of dyslexia apparently)

Elaine

[8doubles]

deep down in my memory this was a song but I cannot remember who sang it.

Most rugby players !

[wighty]

I can still do the 'sign language for  'swing low sweetchariot, comming for to carry me home', used to go to some barn if I remember rightly on the  the Hamble on a Saturday night, (Oh goodness that that was back in the 80's, feeling old now).  I can also do the universal sign language for '  Cumb ba ya (sp) as I was a Guide Captain.

Reading the latest  posts |I'm well behind!

[yorky]

I can still do the 'sign language for  'swing low sweetchariot, comming for to carry me home',

I will be shocked if its the same version as the one I know. 

[wighty]

I will be shocked if its the same version as the one I know. 
[/quote

I was drinking with a load of Policemen and especially CID officers at the time and it probably is the version you know if it is making you blush!

[Raven81]

This really made me laugh!

[davethespread]

when i see peoples initials carved into a tree,i dont think ahh thats cute.i think its strange how many people go on dates with knives.

[Chrysalis]