The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

  • 4196 Replies
  • 852838 Views
*

Plot 1 Problems

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Worcester
  • 3622
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4065 on: April 27, 2021, 22:48 »
What do you call monkeys that share an Amazon account?



Prime mates.

*

Growster...

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Hawkhurst, Kent
  • 13162
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4066 on: April 28, 2021, 07:03 »
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them.

They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning Father, Good Morning Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, after a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.

Again she nodded at each of them, said 'Good morning Father, Good morning Father,' and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?'

'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

She replied, 'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'

*

mrs bouquet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Worthing,West Sussex
  • 5885
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4067 on: April 28, 2021, 15:54 »
That has made me laugh out loud  :lol: :lol:  Mrs B
Birds in cages do not sing  -  They are crying.

*

Blackpool rocket

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: North East Hampshire
  • 522
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4068 on: April 30, 2021, 08:10 »
My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl.

I said: "To be honest, I didn't even know he played cricket !"

*

Blackpool rocket

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: North East Hampshire
  • 522
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4069 on: April 30, 2021, 08:12 »
You thought that was bad.................

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

*

snowdrops

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Burbage,Leics
  • 19547
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4070 on: April 30, 2021, 17:29 »
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them.

They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning Father, Good Morning Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, after a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different coloured bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.

Again she nodded at each of them, said 'Good morning Father, Good morning Father,' and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?'

'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

She replied, 'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'

 :lol: :lol:  :lol:
A woman's place is in her garden.

See my diary pages here
and add a comment here

*

Tenhens

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: North Derbyshire
  • 1259
  • freedom lodge for tenhens ex battery 1 year on
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4071 on: May 01, 2021, 09:55 »
Don't you mean the forth app  ;) ;) ??
we also rescue rabbits and guinea pigs, grow own veg

*

Tenhens

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: North Derbyshire
  • 1259
  • freedom lodge for tenhens ex battery 1 year on
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4072 on: May 02, 2021, 16:18 »
Came across the following on the BBC news pages.

" Jets brought in to tackle ' horrible gunky ' fatball ".

I wonder which jets the RAF sent . 

*

John

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Clogwyn Melyn, Gwynedd
  • 17125
    • Low Cost Living
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4073 on: May 02, 2021, 17:19 »
Came across the following on the BBC news pages.

" Jets brought in to tackle ' horrible gunky ' fatball ".

I wonder which jets the RAF sent .
I don't know but the BBC new subtitles said children's education was suffering in depraved areas
Check out our books - ideal presents

John and Val Harrison's Books
 

*

mrs bouquet

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Worthing,West Sussex
  • 5885
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4074 on: May 02, 2021, 19:17 »
I use the subtitles all the time and sometimes they are very funny.  Mrs B

*

John

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Clogwyn Melyn, Gwynedd
  • 17125
    • Low Cost Living
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4075 on: May 06, 2021, 10:04 »
This is true, it wasn't funny for my daughter but it tickled me.
She took my grandson to a home ed. meeting, first indoor meet for a year. Very exciting for the children, reconnecting and suchlike. There were treats too!
On the way back grandson was sick in the car. Daughter's description was unprintable but grandson's was
"It was AWESOME - pink with lumps in it and it went EVERYWHERE and it stinks"
Oh the joys of being 8  :D :D :D

*

DanielCoffey

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: South Ayrshire, UK
  • 636
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4076 on: May 06, 2021, 10:46 »
I will own up to one at the age of five... taken to a party, given a box of Smarties (a box, not a tube)... got into the Mini 850 for the trip home and ate the lot...

Me : "I'm feeling sick"
Mum : "Wait... wait, let me pull over. Wait!"
Me : "Bleargh!"

I had the choice of into her handbag on the seat next to me or the passenger door magazine pocket thingy.

Apparently I got both! 100% Artificial Colouring... with chocolate!

*

DanielCoffey

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: South Ayrshire, UK
  • 636
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4077 on: May 09, 2021, 09:59 »
I thought this was a good piece of advice...
E00RnquXsAYEpM5.png

*

Aunt Sally

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Sunny Kent
  • 30468
  • Everyone's Aunty
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4078 on: May 09, 2021, 10:57 »
That’s a good adage to live by, Daniel.

*

al78

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Horsham, West Sussex
  • 1338
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #4079 on: May 10, 2021, 22:52 »
I thought this was a good piece of advice...

I like to think that is more about not being judgemental toward those you know little about.



xx
give us our daily bread

Started by rowlandwells on Chatting on the Plot

18 Replies
1747 Views
Last post March 13, 2022, 09:54
by lettice
xx
Deliveries? You're having a laugh!

Started by Goosegirl on Chatting on the Plot

11 Replies
4001 Views
Last post December 31, 2017, 19:23
by Christine
xx
laugh or cry .... you decide.

Started by Lardman on Chatting on the Plot

45 Replies
8528 Views
Last post January 16, 2019, 13:26
by Goosegirl
xx
A funny mis-read.

Started by Goosegirl on Chatting on the Plot

1 Replies
259 Views
Last post November 03, 2023, 17:44
by wighty
 

Page created in 0.169 seconds with 54 queries.

Powered by SMFPacks Social Login Mod
Powered by SMFPacks SEO Pro Mod |