Allotment Gardening Advice Help Chat
Chatting => Chatting on the Plot => Topic started by: Growster... on June 19, 2018, 04:50
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Time for the grey matter to get going...
A Growster Inc. invention, but what is it/are they?
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A device to carry more carrier bags in one hand, the wood goes through the loops in the metal & you hook your bags on the hooks on the metal?
Or more likely you assemble it the same way & it’s to hang something off, maybe your bicycle to take to the patch?
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Snows, you are on the right track here..;0)
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To hang hanging baskets from 1 fixing point
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You - er - were on the right track Snows..;0)
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Pound shop clearance grappling hooks....
Hooks for holding warthogs' nostrils open whilst administering veterinarian sinex....
A Turner prize winning exhibit entitled "Tracy Emin's allotment bits"...
Anchors for mooring really, really light vessels on sandy channel beds.....
Divining rods for use when dowsing for mercury springs.....
The wooden bit for inserting in warthogs from astern *ahem* to make their eyes pop whilst administering veterinarian optrex....
Links for attaching trousers belt loops to crane hoists to assist in pulling them up when the pockets contain excessive amounts of coins....
Wire hooks slipped on the end of the wooden handle to help transport loops of hose when you can't be bothered to wind said hose onto the reel.....
For use scraping down blackboards to set your classes' teeth on edge......
Handle for balancing on the top of the open shed door with spade hooked on one side and fork the other so that when one tool is lifted off, the other falls off on the other side of the door with an amusing clatter.....
The left over bits after assembling an Argos wardrobe....
I'll get me coat.
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One of Ma'at's prototypes?
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Hamsters - tears of laughter - as usual, but not even close..;0)
Love the coins in trousers bit, d'you remember uncles having about five pounds of change in half-crowns, florins, old pennies etc, reaching in with a huge paw and hoisting out a sixpence for an ice cream..:0)
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One of Ma'at's prototypes?
Lards, who the 'hmphh' is Ma'at?
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Actually, Snows, you're closer than you think - sorry, I needed a deep and meaningful re-read of your post :0)
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Lards, who the 'hmphh' is Ma'at?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maat (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maat) :nowink: Specifically the scales.
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Thank you Lards!
The pic shows something a bit more ordinary, but they're not scales...
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Well Growster, I haven't got a clue, although I have enjoyed reading peoples ideas.
I wonder if it is just a load of stuff you put there, (just to wind us all up) :D :D that actually doesn't do anything at all, I am just thinking outside the box :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: Mrs Bouquet
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One wire pair of hooks in each handle of a plastic trug and the wooden spar joining them to enable carrying a loaded trug one handed.
or wind chimes for the unmusical....
or implements for wrenching a Yorkshireman's wallet open long enough to extract the price of a round,,,,
or the bits from an "ancient" rustic pub game with some sort of cod 'Mummerset' name, actually invented in 1996 by a group of bored students...
or what is left of a Hermes handbag after the crocodile skin is removed....
or a basic model wand given free along with the set of broomstick hooks for the Hogwarts equivalent of a bike shed...
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Oooohhhh the labyrinth that is your mind, Hamstergbert. I'm sure that the synapses that fire away inside your wonderful noddle are totally unique. Thanks for the chuckles and the amazing mental images :D :D :D
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GG is here to lend a hand, although as it's still her birthday she's had a glass or so of wine so please bear with her initial thoughts. Two bits of (white-painted?) wire with one end made into a loop and the other into a hook together with two different pieces of wood held together with insulting (or insulating) tape - hmm. My suggestions are as follows:-
1) A prototype for an Aeolian harp.
2) An imitation bird-caller where you blow down between the two bits of wood.
3) An innocent but cunning device that you can easily assemble to snare a burglar by his throat, unlike a garotte where you have to clean up afterwards.
4) A new take on table place-name holders.
5) Just some items from his shed to keep our brains active.
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Goosey - hilarious, but I'm afraid you're not very close...
Snows and Hamsters have almost got it with the right sort of thread, and I'll wait a little until the stunning result brings a huge prize-giving, emblazoned with cake and tinctures, so I'll wait a little longer!
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Oh no :D Just satisfy our curiosity and get on with the CAKE. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Mrs Bouquet
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0h heck! Something to do with thread. Does it have strings attached? As I haven't quite cottoned to it, may I offer some more suggestions for your perusal.
1) A coat-hanger for old gardening clothes that have too many holes in them so you just thread some string up and under and hope for the best.
2) A support for dwarf French beans.
3) A Japanese wind-chime.
4) An old Blue Peter model from your past you can't bear to throw away.
5) A swing from a flea circus.
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Oh no :D Just satisfy our curiosity and get on with the CAKE. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Mrs Bouquet
Cake's all gorn, Mrs B!
:0)
Sorry, but I've included a pic of a tincture in the answer pic...
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As the replies get more obscure, and funnier, Goosey, I've decided to delay the result a little longer...
:0)
Like the Japanese wind chimes idea, they drive me mad too!
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Police photos of items missing after a punk's jewellery box was burgled....
An undercover tennis racquet press in disguise....
Build-it-yourself field harrow kit for really small fields....
Device for scooping cats from under the fridge when the vet makes a house call....
The wooden bit is possibly a Ryanair flute. Holes available at extra cost....
Components included free with issue 1 of 'Build your own ArcellorMittal Orbit sculpture' part work......
Stomach contents of your average goat.....
Remains of the bed of nails after a restless night for a seriously overweight fakir.....
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Growster, you ….PERSON!!!
1) A Tracey Emin reject bought at a car boot sale (table not included).
2) A prototype for creating some new sort of shoe-stretcher (shoes not included).
3) A support for a muslin sieve necessary to hold the potato peelings when making home-brews (instructions not included).
4) An angled swing for a one-legged fairy.
5) The contents of Growster's pockets found in the washing machine filter.
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At this rate, I won't ever divulge the answer, these replies just crack me up!
Just as a clue, think Carpel's Tunnel, and think of England...
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A gadget to treat dry eyes - nothing to do with carpal tunnel but instead contacting biffens bridge and thus inevitably making the eyes water....
Really rubbish xylophone...
Devices for attaching the Angel of the North's bum bag....
One of the early attempts at a sling allowing swallows to carry coconuts....
Part of the harness for attaching small carts to draught hamsters....
Guides for drawing lines under one third straightforward things and two thirds chaotic things....
The worst ever Bargain Hunt 'bonus buy'....
The hardest bits to hang in 'Buckaroo'.....
Tuning forks for the tone deaf.....
Barbie and Ken's purchases from the Ann Summers shop.....
The actual contents of Joanna Southcott's box....
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Just as a clue, think Carpel's Tunnel, and think of England...
OK, so I'm lying on my back ::), somewhat depressed about football, and wondering if there's a gadget that would help my sore wrist get better...
...Hmm, doesn't seem to be helping! :unsure:
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Actually Jay, you're on the right track...
The 'item' is for a purpose in that direction!
(There's another clue)!
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Oh Hamsters!! I can't possibly beat yours but …
1) One of those really cheap things you get in those thin magazine inserts that has various uses around the home that you can't possibly live without. BOGOF!
2) It's a very cunning H&S aid! You tie one end of a 6' piece of string onto one end of the wooden device, thread it through both loops then tie the other end onto the other end of the device. Place said construction around your neck with the wooden device at the back and rest the loops on your either side of your lower chest. Put both arms straight down and wrap each wrist around the adjacent piece of string. Adjust if necessary. Go towards the item you were intending to pick up. Whilst keeping your back straight and bending your knees, attempt the lift. If you get a rather nasty pain at the back of your neck you shouldn't have done it because it's far too heavy!
3) A tatting shuttle for a very short-sighted person.
4) An aid to getting out of the bath which is constructed similar to number 3 except the string is looped over the curtain rail.
5) A gizmo where you thread your watering hose through both loops, then the furthest away loop is attached to the wooden device to keep it straight so you can water your hanging baskets without having to get the ladders out (see number 3).
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Goosey - why are all your ideas 'aids'?
You're totally capable of much more without such implements, and I've got photos to prove it! (I have to look at these when Mrs Growster is in the other room, as she gets jealous)!
Actually, we have a result already, but as these comments are so funny, I'll probably keep everyone i suspense for - say - another week or three!
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What flies up and hits your knees when you accidentally flymo a mixture of clothes hangers.....
Cedar garden steamer chairs as delivered by Y*del...
The emergency brakes from a 1970s Lada.....
Puzzle from a very large cracker, which when twisted together in the right way purport to be a representation of Rodin's 'thinker' although the instructions are unclear.....
Items to scatter over a dark bedroom carpet for empty nesters missing the lego bits your feet find when slipping to the loo in the night...
The perfect gift for the masochist who has everything....
What drops out of the 3D printer when the 'data' you stream to it is not co-ordinates data but is in fact track 3 ('Silly Daddy song") on the Peppa Pig party CD....
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Hamstergbert, I don't know what you are on, but can I have some please. Why can't I think up stuff like your ideas. :wacko: :wacko: :wacko: Mrs Bouquet
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… because you are not on the same medication as Hamsters! Here's some more suggestions from GG's very tired brain:-
1) A dog whistle for asthmatics. Tie some string onto either end of the wooden bit, loop the rest round the hooks, then hold the contraption by the hooks and whizz it around your head. If your dog runs away it needs re-tuning. If you don't have a dog but other people's suddenly come a'running, wang it over the nearest tree branch and use it like a ladder as a means of escape.
2) A splint for a three-legged animal available in three different lengths.
3) A pain reliever before anaesthetics were introduced, though biting through it was not recommended if you hadn't had regular dental examinations.
4) A swing for Hamsters when he gets fed up with his wheel.
5) The remnants from an Ikea self-assemble deckchair.
6) A temporary reed-replacement part for a church organ pipe.
7) A spirit level for wonky houses.
8) A pack of two environmentally-friendly pencils (i.e. lead free).
9) A prototype for a new version of Pooh Sticks.
10) A medieval dousing instrument.
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: At least all of those things ;)
But if it is anything to do with Carpal Tunnel, I need to know, got to go for another jab in mine tomorrow.
Mrs Bouquet
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I've scoured the internet for tunnels and found lots of names like Dartford, Chipping Sodbury and Mersey but there's nothing about Carpel and why it needs jabbing is beyond me, so I had another dig and yo! Now I understand what this alien device could be. Looking at the risk factors for this condition I think we can rule out pregnancy as a contributing factor, so it is reasonable to assume our dear Mr G has repetitive strain injury from lifting too many pints resulting in him spilling part of the contents. Not a good idea if he was wearing light-coloured trousers at the time. If this ingenious contraption was some sort of a splint which was tied around the base of the wrist and/or fingers, the hooks would fit neatly onto his beer mug to prevent any more unnecessary laundry bills.
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Well, thank you everyone for a couple of weeks of hilarity!
Loved all the comments and suggestions, so to put everyone out of their misery (about time - Ed), here's the answer!
It's a contraption which folds over the handle of a normal trug basket, and turns the holding position by 90 degrees. the two wire pairs of hooks just slip over the ends of the wooden handle, and you can therefore walk with your hand in the correct position, i.e. in line with your walk forward.
A few years ago, we found that carrying a trug in the conventional way, meant turning the wrist 90 degrees into an uncomfortable position when carting stuff too and fro, so I just made this as a rough idea and liked it so much I haven't changed it!
The Carpal Tunnel reference was really there to make a clue as it really does help that particular part...
The pic shows the item - 'Growstrughanger - Mark 1' and the tincture goes to all of you for either a correct answer, (Snows and Hamsters for the right answer, and Goosey for the H and S comment and Mrs Bouquet for the cake reference...) and a damn good laugh! Thank you!
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Well, what a damn good idea, Trugs are like that and so are some woven old fashioned shopping baskets.
You're in Kent, patent it, and make a fortune. Excellent, and its been such fun, regards Mrs Bouquet
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Mmm, damn clever idea! He'll be sat there now making them by the thousand and rubbing his hands with glee however, because I'm slightly paranoid (who said that?) I noted he's got a Mark 2 in mind so something isn't quite up to scratch with Mark 1. My advice it not to rush out and buy one or you'll be SOOORRRY!! :nowink:
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PS, Growster - PLEEEEEEZZZZEEEE can we have another one?
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Very clever, & yay I got it right but i thought the other answers were far more ingenious than mine, made me feel very boring 😂
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Very clever, & yay I got it right but i thought the other answers were far more ingenious than mine, made me feel very boring 😂
Snows, you are never boring; I love your posts, and you must never give up making your comments!
Oh, come here and have a hug!
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Ahh thanks Mr G. Feeling warm & loved 😊