The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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Jamie Butterworth

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1305 on: January 02, 2011, 11:01 »
What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back?

A stick
If you want to be happy for a short time - get drunk.

If you want to be happy for a long time - fall in love.

If you want to be happy forever - take up gardening!

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Jamie Butterworth

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1306 on: January 02, 2011, 11:06 »
What did the baby corn say to the mummy corn?

Wheres popcorn

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How do monkey make toast?

They just stick some bread under the gorilla.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2011, 13:40 by Jamie Butterworth »

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davethespread

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1307 on: January 02, 2011, 13:09 »
i was just telling the wife i was driving through the country lanes earlier

and an old boy on a tractor went past me shouting "the end of the world is upon us"

she said  "oh thats just farmer geddon."
i dont suffer with insanity..........i enjoy every minute of it.

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arugula

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1308 on: January 02, 2011, 13:30 »
:D
"They say a snow year's a good year" -- Rutherford.

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andy135

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1309 on: January 05, 2011, 13:13 »
So I said to the wife, "What would you like for Christmas fatty?"

She said "don't get lippy"!





So, it's mascara then.  :wacko:

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Trillium

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1310 on: January 05, 2011, 14:42 »
A   Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."




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joyfull

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1311 on: January 06, 2011, 06:36 »
 :lol: :lol:
Staffies are softer than you think.

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Pol

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1312 on: January 06, 2011, 08:56 »
 :lol: :lol:
1 Great Husband, 2 Children, 1 Grandson, 2 Allotments & Secretary, 3 Buff Orpington, 2 Friesian, 2 Barnevelder, 2 Dogs 1 Cocker Spaniel and the other X Labrador, 1 Chinchilla, 1 Cat, 2 Guinea Pigs, 2 Horse and look after 2 more, must be mad

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Aunt Sally

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1313 on: January 06, 2011, 11:29 »
A   Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments

But did he remember where he'd left his bike when he got to commandment number 7 ?

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davethespread

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1314 on: January 06, 2011, 17:01 »
i found out the other day that in aborigine language the word boo means to come back

because when i threw an ordinary merangue.

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davethespread

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1315 on: January 06, 2011, 17:25 »
japanese banks it appears have been hit almost as hard as american and uk banks:the origami bank has folded,and we hear that the sumo bank has gone belly up too.

bonsai bank plans to cut some of its branches,karaoke bank is for sale and going for a song.
meanwhile,staff at the karate bank got the chop,and analysts report there is something fishy going on at the sushi bank,where workers fear they may get a raw deal.

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elibump

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1316 on: January 06, 2011, 17:53 »
 :lol: :lol: :lol:
Talking to the microwave,I ask you wall, what is the world coming to?
Blesséd are the cracked for tis they who let in the light!

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davethespread

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1317 on: January 07, 2011, 12:11 »
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Australian cricket team if they can have a meeting.

they want to find out how they managed to go downhill so fast.

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Springlands

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1318 on: January 07, 2011, 12:12 »
 :D :D :D

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Trillium

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #1319 on: January 07, 2011, 15:06 »
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen  sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"



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