[John]

GTFC - we do have some youngsters visit the site so it's not just a matter of language. Whilst I found all your jokes hysterical, they're going a bit too far for a family friendly forum.

I know, it's as bad as finding they've let children into the pub

[Paul Plots]

Yes, Learner, got them all wrong.  What does that say about me?!!!

Same here!

You should worry.... I can't even remember posting it.   

[Paul Plots]

The Irish Millionaire.

Mick, from Dublin ,appeared on
'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.

"You've done very well so far," said the show's presenter, "but for a million pounds you've only got one life-line left -phone a friend.  Everything is riding on this question.....will you go for it?"

"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a) A Sparrow
b) A Thrush
c) A Magpie
d) A Cuckoo?"

"I haven't got a clue." said Mick, ''so I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ."
Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.

" Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple......It's a cuckoo."   

"Are you sure?"

"I'm  sure."

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go wit Cuckoo as my answer."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

"Dat it is, Sir."

There was a long - long pause, and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer!
 
Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!"   

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"

"Because he lives in a clock!"   

[Springlands]

 

[Jamie Butterworth]

 

I got excited then because i actually knew the answere to the question

[Springlands]

I got excited then because i actually knew the answere to the question

You could have been a millionaire Jamie 

[Aunt Sally]

Please be careful not to offend our [many] Irish members.  I find in general that they have an extremely high IQ 

[elibump]

Please be careful not to offend our [many] Irish members.  I find in general that they have an extremely high IQ 

Rather like blondes is that?

[Aunt Sally]

Indeed Eli 

[hamstergbert]

Please be careful not to offend our [many] Irish members.  I find in general that they have an extremely high IQ 

I am minded of the Irish lad who in the summer vacation from Trinity College went for a job on a building site in London.  The foreman, who had a knee-jerk dislike of all Irish,  was unimpressed, didn't even look at his CV.   He just went straight onto the attack with "Ah, you Irish are all thick.  Bet you don't even know the difference between 'joist' and 'girder' now can you!"

The Irish lad shrugged.  "Of course I know the difference!" he replied mildly.  "Girder wrote 'the Damnation of Dr Faust' and Joist wrote 'Ulysses'....."

[Aunt Sally]

    Good one

[GTFC197]

John,

point taken, no problem.  

I think my upbringing in Grimsby was alot more open than most people. Coming from a long line of deep sea trawlermen we lived life to the full cos once you sailed out of the lockgates, you never knew if you were coming home again.

Apologies once again,

Mick.

[Paul Plots]

Please be careful not to offend our [many] Irish members.  I find in general that they have an extremely high IQ  

And from my recent experience in Ireland - they are lovely people with wonderful manners and a brilliant sense of humour   as well as a lovely homeland to live in.

[John]

No biggie, Mick -there are times when I find it frustrating to be on my best behaviour. It's just that I don't want to lose my 'family friendly' status and find some of the automated control software is stopping kids from visiting the site to pick up gardening help.

As for Irish jokes - well for a people who are the butt of jokes implying they're stupid, they've got some of the brightest business leaders not to mention scientists.
 

[Thrift]

Here in Ireland they ask ...... Did you hear the one about the 'Kerryman'?
No idea who Kerry jokes are aimed at ...... probably Dublin! 

One absolutely true story though ..... An Irishman in Birmingham went down to the cellar to look for a gas leak ...... With a lighted candle