[John]

OUCH! That's a tough one 

[Dave Mack]

 Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond. By the end you will have wished you had a club and spade  

[davethespread]

the scottish commonwealth team have said,they are disgusted with the health risks they were greeted by and how badly constructed their accomodation was.

they also went on to say leaving glasgow airport for delhi was the best decision they could have made.

[Nige2Plots]

" Waiter waiter! There's a fly in my soup "
" I'm sorry sir you did order vegetarian "   

[John]

" Waiter waiter! There's a fly in my soup "
" I'm sorry sir you did order vegetarian "   

"What's it doing in there?"
"The backstroke, sir!"

[Nige2Plots]

" Waiter waiter! There's a fly in my soup "
" I'm sorry sir you did order vegetarian "   

"What's it doing in there?"
"The backstroke, sir!"

"Waiter waiter, will the pancake be long?"
"No sir, round"

"Waiter Waiter,what's wrong with these eggs?"
"I don't know sir, I only laid the table"

[Snap Dragon]

Waiter waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!
I'm not surprised, sir, it was ground only a few minutes ago.

Waiter waiter, there's a twig in my soup.
Yes, sir, we've got branches everywhere.

[Paul Jackson]

My wife just told me to "Grow Up"

I replied "but its conker season"

[Paul Jackson]

A man walks into a cocktail bar and asked for a "double entendre" so the barman gave him one.

[hamstergbert]

"Here, Garkon, garkon, regardez - dans ma soupe!  Le mouche!"
"Ah non, m'sieu.  C'est LA mouche!"
"Flipping heck, you've got good eyesight!"

[pigeonpie]

A man walks in to a bar.... ouch!

[elibump]

"Here, Garkon, garkon, regardez - dans ma soupe!  Le mouche!"
"Ah non, m'sieu.  C'est LA mouche!"
"Flipping heck, you've got good eyesight!"

 

Must take it to work to show them - don't think they'll understand though!!

Eli xx

[born_2b_mad]

GABN.........

Blimey, that's bang out of order 



.............I'll get me coat

[Aunt Sally]

GABN.........

Blimey, that's bang out of order 



.............I'll get me coat

Was that a joke me dear ?

[hamstergbert]

when you set off dymanite it goes bnag!