The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

  • 4196 Replies
  • 845156 Views
*

davethespread

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Costa Blanca
  • 1480
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #735 on: August 13, 2010, 18:09 »
how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb.....fish
i dont suffer with insanity..........i enjoy every minute of it.

*

JayG

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: South West Sheffield
  • 16722
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #736 on: August 13, 2010, 18:21 »
how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb.....fish

How long will it take Dave to wake up and notice that Hamstergbert posted the same gag on the previous page?  ::)  :lol:
Sow your seeds, plant your plants. What's the difference? A couple of weeks or more when answering possible queries!

One of the best things about being an orang-utan is the fact that you don't lose your good looks as you get older

*

mumofstig

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Kent
  • 57877
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #737 on: August 13, 2010, 18:56 »
I don't think dave wakes up  :unsure:

*

Snap Dragon

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: East Yorkshire
  • 2012
  • I want chickens... and ducks!
    • http://thedragonsden1.blogspot.com/
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #738 on: August 13, 2010, 21:33 »
He's obviously 'in the dark'  ;)
Snappy 

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

*

Paul Plots

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: The Sunny Sussex Coastal Strip
  • 9348
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #739 on: August 13, 2010, 23:36 »
Paddy walked into a barn and caught Shamus doing a sexy dance in front of a large piece of farm machinery.

"Shamus", shouted Paddy,

"what on earth areyou doing?",

"Oh it's ok", replied Shamus,

"me and the missus are having a few marital problems, and the marriage guidance councellor said that if I wanted to turn my wife on, I should do a sexy dance to a tractor"





What harrowing experience!
Never keep your wish-bone where your back-bone ought to be.

*

TheEnglishman

  • New Member
  • *
  • Location: Woking
  • 31
    • Our Garden
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #740 on: August 13, 2010, 23:40 »
Paddy walked into a barn and caught Shamus doing a sexy dance in front of a large piece of farm machinery.

"Shamus", shouted Paddy,

"what on earth areyou doing?",

"Oh it's ok", replied Shamus,

"me and the missus are having a few marital problems, and the marriage guidance councellor said that if I wanted to turn my wife on, I should do a sexy dance to a tractor"





What harrowing experience!

It's the way he tills them  :blink:
I am quite possibly the antithesis of green fingered

*

Paul Plots

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: The Sunny Sussex Coastal Strip
  • 9348
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #741 on: August 13, 2010, 23:42 »
Paddy walked into a barn and caught Shamus doing a sexy dance in front of a large piece of farm machinery.

"Shamus", shouted Paddy,

"what on earth areyou doing?",

"Oh it's ok", replied Shamus,

"me and the missus are having a few marital problems, and the marriage guidance councellor said that if I wanted to turn my wife on, I should do a sexy dance to a tractor"





What harrowing experience!

It's the way he tills them  :blink:

We could plough on with this one for ages  ::)

*

Carla

  • Experienced Member
  • ***
  • Location: West Bromwich, West Mids
  • 303
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #742 on: August 13, 2010, 23:52 »
“In English,” the lecturer said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
Many pets, a bloke and 2 kids....help!!!

*

Paul Plots

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: The Sunny Sussex Coastal Strip
  • 9348
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #743 on: August 14, 2010, 00:21 »
“In English,” the lecturer said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

Sometimes the simplest statements are the most powerful  ;)

*

Glosterboy

  • Experienced Member
  • ***
  • Location: Wiltshire
  • 467
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #744 on: August 14, 2010, 09:14 »
The improved National Health Service.

The British Medical Association has weighed in on the new Prime Minister David Cameron's health care proposals.

The Allergists are scratching their heads, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Paediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The ENT specialists wouldn’t hear of it.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were p****d off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the a**eholes in London !!


*

pigeonpie

  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Location: Isle of Lewis
  • 862
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #745 on: August 14, 2010, 12:02 »
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

*

davethespread

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Costa Blanca
  • 1480
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #746 on: August 15, 2010, 07:23 »
how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb.....fish

How long will it take Dave to wake up and notice that Hamstergbert posted the same gag on the previous page?  ::)  :lol:

yaaawwn,did some one say something? oh sorry :D

*

davethespread

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Costa Blanca
  • 1480
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #747 on: August 15, 2010, 14:39 »
they are going to make a film about harold shipman starring robert de niro

the old dear hunter

*

John

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Location: Clogwyn Melyn, Gwynedd
  • 17113
    • Low Cost Living
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #748 on: August 15, 2010, 15:05 »
they are going to make a film about harold shipman starring robert de niro

the old dear hunter

OUCH! I feel really guilty for smiling  :ohmy:
Check out our books - ideal presents

John and Val Harrison's Books
 

*

horsepooisgood

  • Guest
Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #749 on: August 15, 2010, 18:32 »
they are going to make a film about harold shipman starring robert de niro

the old dear hunter

Dave, you will never go to heaven,  see you in the warm place then... :D



xx
give us our daily bread

Started by rowlandwells on Chatting on the Plot

18 Replies
1707 Views
Last post March 13, 2022, 09:54
by lettice
xx
laugh or cry .... you decide.

Started by Lardman on Chatting on the Plot

45 Replies
8230 Views
Last post January 16, 2019, 13:26
by Goosegirl
xx
Deliveries? You're having a laugh!

Started by Goosegirl on Chatting on the Plot

11 Replies
3783 Views
Last post December 31, 2017, 19:23
by Christine
xx
A funny mis-read.

Started by Goosegirl on Chatting on the Plot

1 Replies
223 Views
Last post November 03, 2023, 17:44
by wighty
 

Page created in 0.14 seconds with 53 queries.

Powered by SMFPacks Social Login Mod
Powered by SMFPacks SEO Pro Mod |