The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!

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DavidT

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #300 on: April 10, 2010, 20:53 »
Sorry your Highness Aunt Sally, Queen of the Aunties, I am your grovelling servant.  I am not worthy of your forgiveness. Please accept my most humble apologies in being so presumptious. :) :)

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DavidT

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #301 on: April 10, 2010, 20:54 »
 :tongue2: :tongue2: :tongue2: :lol: :D

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Ice

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #302 on: April 10, 2010, 20:59 »
Your card is definately marked DavidT. :closedeyes:
Cheese makes everything better.

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DavidT

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #303 on: April 10, 2010, 21:09 »
What have I done now? I can`t help having a bad cough. :ohmy:

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Aunt Sally

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #304 on: April 10, 2010, 23:13 »
Oh dear...  Some people are fools to themselves Ice ::)

They always lose in the end  :lol:

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DavidT

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #305 on: April 11, 2010, 20:01 »
Who, meee? :ohmy:

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Ice

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #306 on: April 11, 2010, 20:03 »

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Aunt Sally

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #307 on: April 11, 2010, 20:04 »

Your name is in the book  ;)

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DavidT

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #308 on: April 11, 2010, 21:25 »
I`ve been booked? Great, when do I appear? Is it the Palladium? How much do I get? :lol: :lol:

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agingchick

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #309 on: April 11, 2010, 21:39 »
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high
and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in
front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart!

"Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here, rub it." So the bartender
rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a puff of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him.

"I will grant you one wish. Just one wish ... each person is only allowed one!" says the genie. The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!" A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming! The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."

"Tell me about it!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
I use to be indecisive now I'm not so sure

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aelf

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #310 on: April 13, 2010, 09:45 »
sorry to bring you all down, but my doctor says I may have convex curviture of the upper spine...










it's just a hunch !  :lol:
There's more comfrey here than you can shake a stick at!

http://www.wedigforvictory.co.uk/dig_icon.gif[/img]

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davethespread

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #311 on: April 13, 2010, 10:03 »
one for the ladies:

once upon a time a female brain cell,by mistake,ended up in a mans head.......

she looked around nervously,because it was so empty and quiet.

"hello?",she cried,but there was no answer....

"is anyone here?"still no answer now the female brain cell started to feel realy scared.

"HELLO!!! IS ANYONE HERE???"

and finally,she hears a feint voice from far,far away.

"were down here"
i dont suffer with insanity..........i enjoy every minute of it.

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mumofstig

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #312 on: April 13, 2010, 11:18 »
sounds about right that  :lol: :lol:

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gypsy

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #313 on: April 13, 2010, 12:23 »
My neighbour put a sign on his gate yesterday, it reads, Trespassers will be composted.
Catherine

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Glosterboy

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Re: The Daily Funny - Give us a Laugh!
« Reply #314 on: April 13, 2010, 12:59 »
An older couple were lying in bed one night.  The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.  She said:  "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."  Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.  A few moments later she said:  "Then you used to kiss me."  Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep..
   Thirty seconds later she said:  "Then you used to bite my Neck."  Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"



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