Small green apples

Cut 'em into quarters and boil 'em up with minimal water for half an hour or so.  Let them cool then mash up and squeeze through muslin bag, collecting the liquid as high pectin addition to your jams (can freeze until  ready).


or....use with a catapult to knock caterpillars off your veggies without stirring from your deck chair...
or... tuck into a child's tee-shirt as pretend muscles for a budget 'Hulk' outfit.....
or... hide some under the car back seat so they rattle annoyingly every acceleration or braking....
or...  paint them brown and use as a more health and safety alternative to conkers....
or... feed them to miniature pigs....
or... spread them thinly on the lawn so there is at least something green showing...
or... use as Subbuteo balls to encourage strengthening of the flick thumbs...
or... bio-degradable eyeballs for 'green' bonfire Guys...
or... as miniature ballista projectiles when modelling the siege of Carthage....
or... to chuck at ruddy wood pigeons who think they are on the catered strength...
or... as stagecoach blunderbuss bullets to avoid hurting highwaymen too badly...
or... for slipping into dress hems to avoid windy weather inadvertent flashes....
or... as extra awkward additions to items loaded in 'Buckaroo'...
or... as snakes and ladders counters where it doesn't matter that they are all the same colour.  And liable to rot....
or... soak in red paint and use as an attractive alternative to glace cherries....
or... as garnish in pisco sour cocktails on the basis that nothing could make the drink any more revolting...
or... as fillers in coat pockets to prevent badgers squatting there...
or... as particularly challenging marbles substitutes...



I'll get me coat.
(Sorry, it is like some sort of ailment that grips me sometimes...)