[mrs bouquet]

A school teacher was arrested today at J.F.K. International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. 
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holders said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.  He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carry weapons of math instruction.

"Al-Gebra" is a problem for us", the Attorney General said.  "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values".   They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns" but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country.  As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "there are 3 sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, The President said, "If God has wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."        Mrs Bouquet

[Goosegirl]

Was this man a mason? Tell you what MB, find some odd socks, stuff them with cotton wool, make a hand-puppet with a bit of appropriate embroidery and wave it from your window. You never know but it might have been one of those socks that was blown off from next-door's washing line.
When this lockdown is over you could organise a meeting with your neighbours to see if you can match up the odd socks. Actually, do we really care if men can't control where their socks go? No I didn't think so. Us wimmen don't seem to have that problem because we don't just discard them on the floor at the end of the day because OH will need them to use as ties for the construction of his new runner bean frame.

[GraciesGran]

Love it. Brought a smile to my face.  Thank you.