New Year non-resolutions

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Yorkie

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Re: New Year non-resolutions
« Reply #15 on: January 02, 2018, 20:44 »
Congratulations Wighty!
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days all attack me at once...

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Growster...

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Re: New Year non-resolutions
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2018, 07:14 »
Well, I've put up the shelf I promised Mrs Growster back in 1997, and also just bought just twenty spuds for growing bags! I'm not growing too many on The Patch, as they don't get used up quick enough!

So that's two out of the three resolutions dealt with...

The mower/Mantis petrol situation is slightly more difficult, as I can't get them out of the shed at the moment...

Phew, at this rate...

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JayG

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Re: New Year non-resolutions
« Reply #17 on: January 22, 2018, 11:00 »
Decided to spare myself the annual reminder that I have no will-power by resolving not to make any New Year's Resolutions this year.

So far it's going well!  :lol:
Sow your seeds, plant your plants. What's the difference? A couple of weeks or more when answering possible queries!

One of the best things about being an orang-utan is the fact that you don't lose your good looks as you get older

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al78

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Re: New Year non-resolutions
« Reply #18 on: January 24, 2018, 10:13 »
I am going to learn to say "No', in the nicest possible way.  I have always changed my plans to fit around what other people want or need me to do, but I think now I'm approaching 70 I need to put myself first now and again.  Oh, goodness, I feel selfish for even writing that!

It might sound selfish, but it is good selfish, not bad selfish. You do need to look after yourself first, and only then you have the ability to help others. After all, if you go down you are no help to anyone. Being a people pleaser is not a great way to live, you are vulnerable to people taking advantage of your altruism and you can end up feeling depressed and resentful after continuous give give give with nothing coming back to show for it.

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Eblana

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Re: New Year non-resolutions
« Reply #19 on: January 24, 2018, 11:11 »
I am going to learn to say "No', in the nicest possible way.  I have always changed my plans to fit around what other people want or need me to do, but I think now I'm approaching 70 I need to put myself first now and again.  Oh, goodness, I feel selfish for even writing that!

It might sound selfish, but it is good selfish, not bad selfish. You do need to look after yourself first, and only then you have the ability to help others. After all, if you go down you are no help to anyone. Being a people pleaser is not a great way to live, you are vulnerable to people taking advantage of your altruism and you can end up feeling depressed and resentful after continuous give give give with nothing coming back to show for it.

I agree, it is not easy to do though if you are giving by nature.  I decided the same last autumn after spending two summers helping people out only to be dropped by both of them for the winter and not even hear from them until the spring arrived.  My plot only kept going because I was getting up early to sow seeds etc and OH was doing most of the work on the plot.  One of them that I haven't even heard from since last August (not even as much as a thank you card or a Christmas card) rang yesterday to know was I going to help them this summer.  He got a firm but polite no but even at that I found myself making excuses to him but I stuck with no.

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al78

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Re: New Year non-resolutions
« Reply #20 on: January 25, 2018, 15:43 »
I am going to learn to say "No', in the nicest possible way.  I have always changed my plans to fit around what other people want or need me to do, but I think now I'm approaching 70 I need to put myself first now and again.  Oh, goodness, I feel selfish for even writing that!

It might sound selfish, but it is good selfish, not bad selfish. You do need to look after yourself first, and only then you have the ability to help others. After all, if you go down you are no help to anyone. Being a people pleaser is not a great way to live, you are vulnerable to people taking advantage of your altruism and you can end up feeling depressed and resentful after continuous give give give with nothing coming back to show for it.

I agree, it is not easy to do though if you are giving by nature.  I decided the same last autumn after spending two summers helping people out only to be dropped by both of them for the winter and not even hear from them until the spring arrived.  My plot only kept going because I was getting up early to sow seeds etc and OH was doing most of the work on the plot.  One of them that I haven't even heard from since last August (not even as much as a thank you card or a Christmas card) rang yesterday to know was I going to help them this summer.  He got a firm but polite no but even at that I found myself making excuses to him but I stuck with no.

As someone who naturally likes to help people I agree it is not easy to do, and it is only in recent years I am saying a polite "no" more often. It helps that often I can come up with the reasoning that I am already doing A+B+C+D+E, and there are over 300 other members in this bridge club, most unlike me who are retired, it might be a good idea to spread the load rather than trying to dump 90% of the work on 5% of the membership.



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