How do you survive against the odds?

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Goosegirl

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How do you survive against the odds?
« on: October 19, 2017, 15:55 »
Just thought I'd post this as next year will be yet another milestone in my life, and sometimes I wonder how on earth I'm still here and having a good time too. I've survived all sorts of different things and learnt that good always comes out of bad (although you might have to wait a bit) and it also makes you stronger. It can be the smallest thing that makes you feel ten feet tall, like a beautiful flower that comes out just when you feel a bit low, someone taking time out of a busy day to visit you just because they wanted to, getting plaudits from your mentors when you've put your head above the parapet and done something you didn't believe you were capable of doing when others were ready to shoot you down in flames, realising that people love you for what you are and don't care if you've sometimes strayed off the straight and narrow road (haven't we all?), giving is better than receiving, knowing it's bullies who have a problem and not you and finally, if you always try your best but sometimes fail then you just accept the fact, learn from it, and realise "Hey I'm an OK person. Let's get the champers out and celebrate!"
I work very hard so don't expect me to think as well.

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DanielCoffey

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2017, 17:54 »
Very inspirational - just what we needed to read. Thank you.

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Growster...

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2017, 18:20 »
Goosey, winners never moan about their lot in life, and I've never heard you complain!

Glass half-full, especially after the witching hour eh?

There's no alternative, although losers think there is!

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mumofstig

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2017, 18:36 »
As Winston Churchill famously said, you just have to
Quote
Keep Beggering On
(adjusted slightly to pass Auntie's Eagle eye  :lol: )

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greenjay

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2017, 20:58 »
we are all human  and we make mistakes.
 just learn from them and don't make the same mistake again.
enjoy what you have in life.
focus on the good and don't worry about things that may never happen.

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al78

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2017, 14:22 »
How do you survive against the odds?

In my case it was by the skill and prompt action of the air ambulance and the NHS. Two and a half years ago I was cycling to work as normal when a car pulled onto a roundabout and caught my back wheel. I was thrown through the air and landed on my back, but my head kept going and slammed into the road, knocking me out. I was airlifted to St Georges and was in a coma for nearly a fortnight, whilst surgeons reacted to the severe brain trauma (by removing part of my skull to give my brain room to swell). When it was time to revive me they had problems getting me out of the coma. It got to the point where a family conference was called, explained that I looked like a hopeless case and if I didn't come round by Monday they were switching the life support off. This was accompanied with scans showing how my brain had been sheared by a significant rotational force, such that the symmetry between the right and left hemispheres had been wrecked. It was shear luck that over the weekend I began to show signs of consciousness. My head followed a nurse walking around my bed, and when another nurse held my hand I responded with a squeeze. From then on it was a case of remarkable recovery, and after seven weeks in hospital, a follow-up operation to put a metal plate in my head, and a few weeks recuperation time I was just about back to normal (took three months to regain the lost weight). I am extremely lucky that despite the brain damage I don't have any life-debilitating consequences, and because I personally did not see the accident, I have no flashbacks or nightmares, because I have no concept of being hit, it was a case of cycling along, BANG, knocked out.

The driver was charged with careless driving and received a fine and penalty points.

One of the things I remember from my stay in hospital was the huge support I received from family, friends and colleagues. I tend to live a quiet life and am reserved by nature (i,e, not very social or talkative), so have thought of myself as someone who exists in the background and is easily forgotten. That incident made me realize that even though I have few close relationships outside my family, there are still a lot of people who care about me, it was very touching.

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sunshineband

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2017, 15:09 »
What an epic experience al78. Certainly makes you value every minute of every day
Wisdom is knowing what to ignore - be comfortable in your own skin.
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snowdrops

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2017, 16:07 »
Wow al78 that is a survival against the odds.

Me, I just plod on, tend to put my chin down & get on with it bit like giving birth really lol. I once did a well being residential course & one of the exercises was to write down on a piece of paper all the people & things that were special to you, you then folded it up placed it on the small of your back, tied it on with a scarf & then walked around the room. It was so powerful that most of us ended up in tears that we had all this support pushing us on from behind, Ive still got the piece of paper in my purse, so I’ve got that support all the time.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2017, 16:13 by snowdrops »
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mumofstig

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2017, 16:13 »
Certainly makes you value every minute of every day
I feel the same after my subarachnoid haemorrhage (at 45) one minute I was gardening in Dover, the next I woke up in ambulance on my way to a London specialist centre. They performed surgery -  I now have a clip to seal a burst aneurysm on my brain and a pound coin sized hole in my skull, but remember nothing of the stay there apart from trying to pee lying down. Bizarre  :wacko:  :lol:
I remember being moved back to Canterbury for recovery, which was slow at first. It took me a long while to adjust to not feeling 'me' anymore. It's hard to explain but something inside me had definitely changed, although my body worked normally, apart from a slight weakness in my right arm.
After trying many methods of relaxation advised by the therapists, one suggested I learn to meditate, which really helped. Any time I feel stressed nowadays I meditate, it's such a useful, calming thing to do.
I know a lot of people reach an age when they can't quite remember the right word, or the point they were trying to make - but I've been coping with that all this time. I have learnt to laugh it off, because stressing over it was making me depressed.
And lists - I can't survive without lists/reminders  :nowink: If there's nothing important on the list, I can ignore it and just garden, of course - but I have to have the list in the first place  :lol:

So yes, enjoy everyday you can!

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rowlandwells

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2017, 17:13 »
I have to say after reading these replies I really take my hat of to you because you certainly no the meaning of living  life to the full makes me feel how lucky I am to keep my health at 70

so many of my friends enjoy moaning about everything and anything and really depress me sometimes talk about Victor Melldew :mad: they make me feel that I've got one foot in the grave sometimes but when the wife and me get down the allotments its lovely peace and quiet birds singing having a cup of tea doing a job or two  what could be better when your retired

and yes mumofstig quite rite enjoy everyday as it comes and value every mute of the day  :D




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Goosegirl

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2017, 14:21 »
Thanks all for your thoughtful replies. I know a moaner who used to visit me and spent all the time whingeing but she stopped coming round because I didn't say things like ... poor you, oh dear... and so on. She's got so much but is never satisfied, her garden's like a show-piece but has no "soul" (others have commented on that as well), and sometimes when I tried to help her with problems the response is a grumpy "pffft - can't be bothered doing that" so I gave over trying. Now I just focus on people and things that give me pleasure. At a nearby house sale place yesterday I bought a white Royal Daulton figurine of a little girl ballet-dancer putting her shoes on. It only cost £6 but she's gorgeous and looks so graceful! To all you survivors out there, a very big thumbs-up to you!!

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jaydig

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2017, 15:07 »
Hats off to all of you who triumph over your problems  without making a fuss about it.

 My grandad suffered ill health from the age of forty, his spine bent and twisted and his hands and feet contorted and 'set' so that he found walking and using his hands very difficult.  He used to have to wear a heavy leather back brace, but I never once heard him complain.

  It's often the case that those who suffer most say the least, while others complain if they have a 'finger ache'. 

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Pescador

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #12 on: October 21, 2017, 15:45 »
Spot on Goosegirl, and to all the other posters.
I've had 2 bouts of Leukaemia, the 2nd lot appearing 5 years after the first..just when I was starting to think I was clear.
However, what it has done is give me the most positive outlook on life. Every day is one I nearly didn't have, so I enjoy everything I can.
It doesn't always go well, but I look forward to getting it right next time, or not trying to do it again.
There will always be those who whinge about everything and who will never be happy. I just try to steer clear of them and leave them to wallow in their own self pity, (it's the only time their happy)!
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al78

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #13 on: October 21, 2017, 18:48 »
Hats off to all of you who triumph over your problems  without making a fuss about it.

 My grandad suffered ill health from the age of forty, his spine bent and twisted and his hands and feet contorted and 'set' so that he found walking and using his hands very difficult.  He used to have to wear a heavy leather back brace, but I never once heard him complain.

  It's often the case that those who suffer most say the least, while others complain if they have a 'finger ache'.

I think sometimes people do complain, maybe not to you, but sometimes things just get you down to the point where you feel like a rant to get the frustration out of your system. My grandmother used to complain quite a bit in her final years. Having lived an independent life for so long it was hard for her to have the independence destroyed by an aging deteriorating body. Sometimes it is not you they complain too, it is their significant others who have to be the shoulder to cry on (you don't know what happens behind closed doors). In other cases, there is a feeling of acceptance. Sometimes you just accept that bad luck happens, it is no-ones fault, and you have to make the best of it and deal with the situation you find yourself in.

I will point out that if the suffering has been caused by someone elses carelessness oir malice, then you can't blame the victim for complining, and holding the perpetrator to account for their actions is absolutely reasonable.

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Goosegirl

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Re: How do you survive against the odds?
« Reply #14 on: October 22, 2017, 13:53 »
You're also right there al78 - sometimes people do need to let off steam or have a rant otherwise they'd go mad. I do the same when I feel the need as do my pals and certainly if someone tries to diss me, but that's fair.
Pescador - I wish you well and good luck in all you do. 



 

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