Just popping out of lurker-dom to say - I LOVE this thread. Just read it and it's put a large smile on my face (especially Juvenal's Luxury Shed and victoria park's prodigal cat).
My first full year as an allomenteer (we were handed a wonderful plot halfway through 2016) has been great - crops or not, I'm absolutely loving growing my own veg and meeting new people on the neighbouring plots.
HIGHS: Beetroot (still lots to come - successfully used Charles Dowding's multiple module planting system - three seeds per module, plant them all in the ground as a group and harvest them in turn taking the biggest from each group each time); dwarf beans (the plants looked awful, but we had lots of beans); borlottis (although nearly lost the lot as a freak gust of wind blew them over at the weekend - they seem to have survived though); nasturtiums; lettuce; sweet peas; parsnips looking good; loads of PSB at the start of the year and new plants going away well now.
LOWS: file under "That'll learn me" - tried two 'unusual' crops, Asparagus Peas and radish Munchen Bier. Asparagus peas have grown, flowered and cropped like a dream; sadly the 'peas' taste like pencil shavings, so the lot will be composted. Munchen bier radish was supposed to flower and the seed pods form the crop - the plants grew absolutely enormous, some flowers, no pods - I got cross and composted the whole lot one day. Garlic - got rust and the bulbs were teeny - taste good though so not a total loss. First batch of beetroot was eaten by slugs, second by pigeons, but have now got absolutely loads at various stages. Gooseberries and blackcurrants - cropped really well, but we were away for two weeks at just the wrong time, so the birds got the harvest. Raspberries - I planted new canes in January, but less than 50% survived. Will replace the missing 50% in the autumn. Carrots - not a one germinated. I've since learned from others that most people struggle with carrots on our site.